


Dear Heart

by Yakō-sei No Saiko (NocturnalPzyko)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:55:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NocturnalPzyko/pseuds/Yak%C5%8D-sei%20No%20Saiko
Summary: A story where Kageyama and Hinata acquired a rare disease but chose differently on how to cure it.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 4





	Dear Heart

_I’m here._

While staring at Hinata’s sleeping face, Kageyama thought to himself, how did he end up being enslaved on Cupid’s cruel arrow just because of those two words? How did he end up falling in love with his best friend? How come he let himself get lured to Cupid’s scheme? And on top of all the questions clouding his mind, why does he not feel any regret for loving this human tangerine, which is now sleeping peacefully beside him?

_Dear heart, why him?_

Kageyama asked himself while gently caressing the face of the tangerine-haired man beside him to feel his warmth. But when Hinata flinched due to his cold fingers, he removed them to let his beloved person have a good sleep. Hinata opened his eyes a little and met the lonely gaze of those blue orbs that staring at him. He lowered his gaze and he felt guilty after seeing the faint bluish snowflake marks on the famous setter's face.

_Dear heart, why not him?_

The so-called human tangerine asked himself. He is wondering why after all the things that Kageyama did for him, the time they spend together, and the hardship they went through together, how come he never once felt the same irrational heart beating he felt unlike when Atsumu told him that phrase back in high school when Karasuno won against Inarizaki.

_As long as I'm here, you're invincible_.

Those were Kageyama’s words to him back in high school when he was still the person who doesn’t know how to fly. When he was still, the Hinata that spikes the ball with his eyes closed. When he still doesn't know how to fly with his own wings.

_I'm gonna be setting to you one day._

Then there's Atsumu. The person who made him want to fly using his own wings; the other man who can make him fly higher. Back then, after hearing Atsumu's words, he knew right away; this is love. Hinata knew because his heart never once beats waywardly to other people except him.

He confessed to Atsumu, but in the end, he turned him down because he is already dating Kita. Hinata thought it was fine and asked the setter to be friends with him instead. He made himself believe that it was fine, but for three years, whenever he sees how happy Atsumu with Kita, the prickling cold in his heart worsen every day. It was exactly three and a half years when he was diagnosed with a rare disease called Kōtta shinzō Disease, also known as the Frozen heart Disease.

Kōtta shinzō Disease is a rare disease in which a person who has been in unrequited love or one-sided love for three to five years will get their heart covered with ice and eventually make their heart stopped beating if left untreated. The onset of the disease usually occurs in the fifth year and for some rarer cases, it starts during the third year of being in unrequited love.

Symptoms like prickling cold on the left chest, breathing difficulties, and consistent low body temperature are the primary signs. Faint bluish-colored snowflake marks will start to appear on their body, and they will also start losing appetite, fatigue, dizziness, and nausea on the third month after its onset.

The victim will only have a year to treat it by making the subject of their affection love them back romantically or fall in love with somebody else, which is hard for other people.

It also can be cured by injecting an oxytocin inhibitor in the brain, which can only be effective, if and only if it will be done during the first up to the sixth month after acquiring the disease. But the procedure will make the patient incapable of falling in love again and might also make the person become emotionally detached from other people, anxious and depressed due to oxytocin deficiency. It will also leave permanent bluish-colored snowflake marks on their body.

Hinata felt Kageyama's fingers caressing the permanent mark left on his body after getting the surgery that made him unable to reciprocate his love. Kageyama is now suffering the same fate as him. But it is already too late to get surgery for the latter's case because he is already in his sixth year of loving Hinata one-sidedly. And the tangerine-haired man just learned about Kageyama's feelings when the latter got hospitalized, nine months after the onset of his disease.

According to the doctor specializing in their disease, the setter only has a month to live because his condition gradually worsened. Although he didn’t lose weight too much because Hinata always makes sure to bring him his favorite food, they can still see how thin he is now than before. And it was only a matter of time before the ice will fully cover his heart.

Even right now, Hinata could hear Kageyama's faint heartbeat while the latter tried to hide his breathing difficulties. He can also feel the man's shivering body under their blankets. But aside from pity and guilt, his heart won't beat like before even he wanted to.

"Why didn't you stop me when I told you about getting surgery?" Hinata finally asked the owner of those blue orbs that are filled with loneliness while staring at him.

Kageyama's lips quivered as he smiles at the Hinata, "I can't...m-make you...f-fall in love w-with...with m-me no m-matter what I d-do...h-hinata boke." The former famous setter said in between his heavy breathing. His trembling hand slowly cupped Hinata's face while lovingly stared at the latter's hazel-colored eyes. 

"How can you be so sure?" Hinata's voice cracked, so he bit his lower lip to stop himself from bawling because of the guilt that is eating him up at the moment while looking at Kageyama.

Kageyama smiled sweetly at him for the first time since they came from the hospital when the black-haired lad wished to stay in his house with Hinata instead of staying in the hospital.

"W-when you s-smile for h-him...it's...it's more beautiful t-than w-when you're s-smiling when y-you get to s-score in v-volleyball." He just simply said that made Hinata's tears start falling.

Kageyama brushed his fingers on Hinata's face to wipe the latter's tears. He moved closer to him and planted a soft kiss on Hinata's forehead with his cold and trembling lips. Hinata pulled Kageyama to close their gap. And even though he shivered when he felt Kageyama's cold body, he didn't pull away as if his heat would latch onto his best friend's body. Kageyama pulled away from him instantly because he knew that his body is almost like it was made of ice.

"I wish you were him. I wish you were the person I fell in love with," Hinata said in between sobs that made Kageyama smiled lovingly to his greatest decoy.

"Hinata B-boke..."

Hinata looked at Kageyama's tired and yet fulfilled eyes. He seemed contented just hearing Hinata's wish.

"C-can you...g-get t-the thing on m-my jacket's p-pocket?" Hinata's brows furrowed, but still, he gets up on the bed to get the thing Kageyama was asking. But before he could leave the room, his former setter called him once again, and with a faint voice, he said with a smile the phrase that made Hinata smile for the first time with river-like tears on his eyes.

"Let's meet halfway in our next life."

\---

"How are you, Bakageyama? I'm doing fine now because of our former teammates' help. I still feel anxious and depressed at times but aside from that, I am okay." Hinata said, and smiled when the air gently blows on his face.

He reads his letter over and over whenever he's depressed and tried to ask for help. Because he knew that if he took his life, then he won’t be reborn again. He won’t get to meet the man who promised to love him until their next life.

He rummaged his pocket and took out the slightly crumpled letter that Kageyama left for him, the thing that he asked Hinata to get, and starts reading it again with a contented look on his face.

_Hinata Boke,_

_Why you? I have been asking myself this question since I learned about my disease. You're a guy just like me. You're a dumbass you suck at receives. You're shorter than me. But then, I remembered when you said those two words back then during our try-out match with Captain and TsukiYama, my heart went restless. I never expect to hear it from you. And I never expect myself to fall in love with you._

_And when you said you're in love with Atsumu, the question that I keep asking myself changed, from 'Why you?' to 'Why not me?'. I'm here. I'm just here for you just like how you were there for me. But I guess, I already know the answer. We can't command our hearts to fall in love to the person our mind wants us to love, rather it's the one commanding us to fall in love with a certain person. The person they chose._

_But I want you to know that I never regret all my decisions in life that includes you. I never regret falling in love with you. I never regret not getting surgery because I would rather die, than not letting this heart of mine beats only for you. You see, Hinata boke...I want to tell you with a smile that I won. I won over this disease because I stayed in love with you._

_Hinata boke...in our next life, please choose me. Please love me. And please...smile the brightest just for me, like how you smile the brightest for him. And I promise to love you more than I loved you now. Don’t you dare take your life, because I’ll be waiting for you in the afterlife. I love you, my sunshine._

_P.S. Let's meet halfway in our next life, Hinata Boke._

_Loving you even in the afterlife,_

_Bakageyama_

**Author's Note:**

> Kōtta shinzō Disease Is a fictional disease that I just made up.


End file.
